The Fragile Seed: The Perils of Developing Identity

Hello everyone!

I’m back again my friends, and I want to continue our study on identity. First, let’s review. Well, we first introduced/defined identity, and then we took a session on identity in the context of spiritual growth. Well in that last session, we talked about how folks are fixated on the flower, but not giving credence to the journey of the seed.

But why is this important?

Simple. While you have heard the term that bruised flowers still bloom, what do broken seeds do?

We have heard about us being the salt of the earth, but if the salt is no good, it is normally no good for its intended purpose. And what would you do with a trampled seed? More or less the same.

Connecting to Identity

So let’s talk about identity. Because whether we like it or not, before we connect to the identity with being made in God’s image and likeness first, we have to build the other elements of our identity. And this time we are going to talk about heritage.

Most of the Pauline epistles have passages on how to engage the family, and I myself was jarred by 1 Timothy 5. Why? Because it says that it is the job of the family surrounding the widow to take care of the widow. For those of you who have widowed parents, you may understand this struggle. But for the rest of you, let’s take a look.

Remember last week when I said “Our parents are giving us everything (or should be, but that’s a discussion for the next blog)”?  Of course you do. But what does the everything look like? It should look like fathers preparing their offspring for the world, mothers nurturing and laying the foundations on how to love and express.  The problem is, we live in a world where a phenomenon called generational hindsight damage exists.

Identity and Generational Hindsight Damage

We have heard about “generational curses”, correct? Well, you can think of generational hindsight damage as the wounding that passes down generationally from these curses.  Or rather it is the familial and societal input that disrupts families. And many of us have stories on this, some more vitriolic than others. Sadly, abuse comes in many forms, and while an emotional truth is that we all want someone to love us for who we are, what that looks like specifically in each of us is different. Some parents lack the ability to love appropriately, others lack the ability to love specifically, and some still have declined to attempt to love at all. All of these can be damaging in their own way.

Okay parents, I’m sure some of you are like “I’m doing my best!” And if that’s you, great, I believe in you. This “Jack in the Box secret sauce” is for you too. While many scholarly journals talk about your struggle, I’m going to provide a perspective. So, whether you have children or not, think about your experience growing up with your parents. Nobody’s is ideal; still forgive (that’s a future entry). And to some extent, our parents have not only influenced the formation of our identity, but also, via generational hindsight damage, prevented us from fully grasping identity with God first.

The Apple and the Tree (More Seed Metaphors)

We normally consider parents to be hard-working, protective, intuitive, wise, and what not (I’ve seen many hardworking parents even in my adult years, I can tell the job seems thankless at times; I thank you though). But the truth is, parents can and will let us down. And they, more so than most anyone else, have an influence on the formation of our identity, and the wounding that disallows it to reach its full potential. Any parent only knows their upbringing, unless they themselves have broken free of their generational hindsight damage. So, let me reiterate, in most cases, they did their best. It’s a nasty struggle, but we have to overcome our generational hindsight damage but using identity and some other factors to break generational curses. Because I am thankful to God that his love is so powerful, it can bring perspective to and allow us to overcome generational hindsight damage. Because in Christ, even a broken seed can be made whole.

But that’s next month’s entry…how to make a broken seed whole.

Thank you all, and I’ll see you next time!