Author: Nelson Hawkins, Jr.

How you doing everyone? I'm Nelson Hawkins Jr. It's a pleasure to be here! Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a native of New Orleans, LA, and have been living in Houston over 10 years. I am, believe it or not, a scientist that found education. Comprehensive education...whether we are considering the sciences, mathematics, fine arts, technical arts, or spiritual growth, I want everyone to genuinely understand how something works in theory, in practicum, and have the capacity to use that knowledge to make sure something somewhere gets better. On AKnowingSpirit, I will be providing practical and relational Biblical knowledge to application in every aspect of our lives. Come check out my posts.

The Fragile Seed: The Perils of Developing Identity

Nelson Hawkins, Jr.

Hello everyone!

I’m back again my friends, and I want to continue our study on identity. First, let’s review. Well, we first introduced/defined identity, and then we took a session on identity in the context of spiritual growth. Well in that last session, we talked about how folks are fixated on the flower, but not giving credence to the journey of the seed.

But why is this important?

Simple. While you have heard the term that bruised flowers still bloom, what do broken seeds do?

We have heard about us being the salt of the earth, but if the salt is no good, it is normally no good for its intended purpose. And what would you do with a trampled seed? More or less the same.

Connecting to Identity

So let’s talk about identity. Because whether we like it or not, before we connect to the identity with being made in God’s image and likeness first, we have to build the other elements of our identity. And this time we are going to talk about heritage.

Most of the Pauline epistles have passages on how to engage the family, and I myself was jarred by 1 Timothy 5. Why? Because it says that it is the job of the family surrounding the widow to take care of the widow. For those of you who have widowed parents, you may understand this struggle. But for the rest of you, let’s take a look.

Remember last week when I said “Our parents are giving us everything (or should be, but that’s a discussion for the next blog)”?  Of course you do. But what does the everything look like? It should look like fathers preparing their offspring for the world, mothers nurturing and laying the foundations on how to love and express.  The problem is, we live in a world where a phenomenon called generational hindsight damage exists.

Identity and Generational Hindsight Damage

We have heard about “generational curses”, correct? Well, you can think of generational hindsight damage as the wounding that passes down generationally from these curses.  Or rather it is the familial and societal input that disrupts families. And many of us have stories on this, some more vitriolic than others. Sadly, abuse comes in many forms, and while an emotional truth is that we all want someone to love us for who we are, what that looks like specifically in each of us is different. Some parents lack the ability to love appropriately, others lack the ability to love specifically, and some still have declined to attempt to love at all. All of these can be damaging in their own way.

Okay parents, I’m sure some of you are like “I’m doing my best!” And if that’s you, great, I believe in you. This “Jack in the Box secret sauce” is for you too. While many scholarly journals talk about your struggle, I’m going to provide a perspective. So, whether you have children or not, think about your experience growing up with your parents. Nobody’s is ideal; still forgive (that’s a future entry). And to some extent, our parents have not only influenced the formation of our identity, but also, via generational hindsight damage, prevented us from fully grasping identity with God first.

The Apple and the Tree (More Seed Metaphors)

We normally consider parents to be hard-working, protective, intuitive, wise, and what not (I’ve seen many hardworking parents even in my adult years, I can tell the job seems thankless at times; I thank you though). But the truth is, parents can and will let us down. And they, more so than most anyone else, have an influence on the formation of our identity, and the wounding that disallows it to reach its full potential. Any parent only knows their upbringing, unless they themselves have broken free of their generational hindsight damage. So, let me reiterate, in most cases, they did their best. It’s a nasty struggle, but we have to overcome our generational hindsight damage but using identity and some other factors to break generational curses. Because I am thankful to God that his love is so powerful, it can bring perspective to and allow us to overcome generational hindsight damage. Because in Christ, even a broken seed can be made whole.

But that’s next month’s entry…how to make a broken seed whole.

Thank you all, and I’ll see you next time!

Identity and Growth

Nelson Hawkins, Jr.

Whew what a long summer!

Alright, now that we are headed into autumn, which is ironically the harvest time, we will be talking about a type of harvest and manifestation, or rather, how things grow. And by things, I mean us.  Let’s just get started, shall we?

So for the last two sessions we have been talking about identity, and the struggle with identity, and more specifically what were the elements of our identity, and why we struggle with our identity.  It ultimately boils down to our natural progression struggling with our spiritual progression to understand that first, we are made in God’s image and likeness, and then, we have a God-given purpose we must rely on God and His power to cultivate within us. We also are a part of a family and have a race/ethnicity, but those are easy(ier) to identify with (Psst: that’s that struggle).

But what does that growth look like?

Well, first, I want to briefly analyze the stages of natural and spiritual growth..just bear with me here:

  1. The Nurturing Phase (Birth-5yrs): Usually lots of crying and questions.
  2. The Discovery Phase (6yrs-11yrs): Usually we develop distinct personalities at this point.
  3. The Identity Phase (there’s that word again, 12yrs-21yrs)
    1. Surveying (12yrs-15yrs): We need to look around.
    2. Experimental Phase (15yrs-18yrs): We start to do.
    3. Closure of Identity (18yrs-21yrs): We “figure out” what we’re going to do.
  4. Culture Shock (18yrs-26yrs): What we know isn’t what we know.
  5. Career Selection (26yrs-32yrs): We choose where we are going.
  6. Family Life/Prep for Retirement (32yrs.-65yrs.): We get the meat and potatoes out of life.

Some of you just read this and said “What? I’m ‘xyz years old’ and haven’t done ‘abc thing’.” Relax. Identity is nuanced, and so is choosing a life path.

But why this list? Well, by the end of Stage 1, we normally have a bearing of the heritage and ethnicity portions of our identity. We may have been introduced into the things of Christ, but we haven’t had a challenge yet to really get to know Him. Our parents are giving us everything (or should be, but that’s a discussion for the next blog).  We normally don’t get a real experience with God until at least Stage 4 (kudos to those of you who got this earlier), and have to reconcile what we learned earlier with what we learn about God later in life.  But how does learning God work? Here are the stages of spiritual growth:

  1. Born Again (John 3:1-7; Ephesians 1:13-14): That Day 0 Faith.
  2. Babe in Christ (1 Peter 2:2; 1 Corinthians 3:1-9): God loves on us and we learn our Word.
  3. Son(Daughter)ship (Hebrews 12:5-13): The two P’s, Purpose and (Spiritual) Pruning. God lays the groundwork for our full measure. Identity becomes solid.
  4. Overcoming the World (1 John 2:13b): This is where identity takes hold and doesn’t let go.
  5. (Basic) Spiritual Maturity (1 John 2:13b-14b): We know who we are in Christ in operate out of consistent empowerment.
  6. (Senior) Spiritual Maturity (1 John 2:27, Ephesians 4:12-15): Consistent empower is second nature; God is our own source, and identity is immovable.

Let’s note a few things before we continue:

  • These are basic guides.
  • Spiritual growth is bidirectional, without fuel, we can burnout and go back.
  • Most believers don’t make it out of the Babe Stage. You heard me right.
  • Son(Daughter)ship is probably the toughest phase, but this is my opinion. God’s tolerance for our nonsense thins significantly (grace does not stop completely though). Maybe I’m biased LOL.
  • The fight doesn’t end at maturity (or at all); we just become appropriately equipped to do battle.

Why do most believers fail to make it out of Stage 2? Simple. It goes back to what we talked about last time, coupled to the natural growth. Life can be rough, and life invariably brings us to a stage that challenges all we know. I would argue that maturity, natural or spiritual, is impossible before this point (Roughly Natural Stage 4 or 5).  We love the idea of being a flower, but gloss over the journey of the seed. We struggle in our natural lives to find that right soil to get to the place where we can be grown spiritually, and develop the appropriate identity.

That’s a lot man. I’m going to stop here for now, and come back next time where we talk more about the journey of the seed and how fragile it is next to its soil.  Hope you enjoyed this. Until next time, folks!