The State of Things
I live in South Dakota where we have the fewest Covid-19 cases in the whole country and social distancing can be a natural part of small populations. While New York has 16,000-25,000 people per square kilometer, we would have 4-18 people in the same amount of space. I live in one of the largest cities in the state where we have a decently sized airport bringing us a bit closer together, but that still does not make it massive.
That being said, there are no shelter in place orders yet. We are being instructed to use common sense (definition – having good sense and sound judgment in practical matters), keep gatherings under 10 people, stay home as often as possible, only send one person to the grocery store, parks and non-essential businesses are closed, etc. Schools are doing home-based remote learning until May 1st at a minimum, but that could extend as things progress.
As a devout Christian, my heart has been leaning on passages like “Blessed is he who considers the poor; Yehovah will deliver him in time of trouble. Yehovah will preserve him and keep him alive.” (Psalm 41:1-2) So many Americans are running around in fear right now focusing on how to preserve themselves, but my heart has been laser focused on helping who I can and trusting God to empower and protect me in doing His work.
A crisis reveals our true nature. If you want to know my nature – Love compels me to serve. I can serve. I will serve. Love is a verb. That doesn’t mean I’m planning birthday parties or ignoring social distancing. We are still being smart and safe about it. It means while I may not be a doctor or nurse, there are other places I can help keep things afloat to get us through this crisis.
In times like this, I have to remind myself I cannot help everyone alone, nor is that my responsibility. God will guide me where He wants me to be useful just like a single cell in the body works with millions of other cells to create the functioning whole. Where He guides me, He will protect me.
Recently that has put me at The Banquet, a Christian mission giving free, quality meals to the homeless, hungry, and impoverished. These people need to eat, virus or no virus. The Banquet does not accept any government money so they can avoid all the restrictions of red tape and be able to pray and serve freely, and they rely on volunteers and private donors. They are still open as an essential service. A normal dinner would feed 250-300 people. Right now they are feeding 400-450 people each night and growing as people are being hit hard financially due to this pandemic. (Click here to learn how you can help.) In light of the virus, they are doing everything they can to prevent spread while still providing an essential service, but they need help.
When I show up for my shift, I wash my hands thoroughly, put on gloves, sanitize everything, help them pack each styrofoam container, pray, then come down to the front door and hand out stacks of to go meals to a line of men, women, and children wrapping around the side of the building. I get a split second of contact with people who are in a really hard place in life on top of being in a pandemic, and I do my best to make the most of it by offering them a smile accompanied by positive words like enjoy your meal or have a great night or God bless you. I refuse to miss a single opportunity to share even a tiny fraction of the love of God with them.
Most nights are pretty chill and uneventful. Occasionally someone will come through drunk or try to get extras (which we don’t give so that we have enough to feed everyone). I saw a fist fight break out once over the no seconds rule. Once in awhile one of the guys will come back through the line to complement my eyes and ask if I’m single. One night a man came through the line to get a meal, then proceeded to eat it in front of the building while yelling about how he doesn’t believe in the resurrection of Christ since he’s a Muslim. When he looked at me I just smiled at him then continued to serve the next people in line, but in my head I was thinking whether you believe in him or not, he’s the one who put that meal in your belly. The Holy Spirit guided this place to be established, funded, and supported so nobody would have to go without nourishment. Thinking about that unconditional kind of divine love that serves even those who reject him motivated me to smile even more. So other than a few periodic interruptions, it is usually pretty smooth sailing.
Tonight (April 2nd, 2020) I saw the state of things in a whole new way. The weather here is known for being a bit bipolar. While temps were over 75 degrees and it was gorgeous yesterday, tonight it was 25 degrees with freezing rain. That line of people wrapping around the building waiting for the doors to open was still there half an hour early freezing their buns off to hold their place like they do every night. Some didn’t even have hoods, and their hair was freezing.
Roughly fifteen minutes after the doors opened, a gentleman tripped over himself as he approached to grab his meal from under the glass sneeze guard. I thought he might be drunk. He caught the table and moved quickly out the door, so I thought little of it. A couple minutes later after the line had slowed down, a woman ran in the door and said, “Somebody call an ambulance. A man out front is having a seizure.” The other staff members who saw her approach couldn’t hear her well and were trying to figure out what was happening, but I understood clearly. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket (which any other day would have been stashed in my purse on the other end of the building) and immediately dialed 911. I believe it was an act of God that I had it on me.
I asked him to send an ambulance, gave our address, and told him the situation. At this point my brain was simply checking off the box that I had called for an ambulance like I was asked – task completed. The situation hadn’t fully hit me yet, I was acting in an emergency on autopilot. When the 911 operator asked if I was with the man and I said no, that’s when it clicked that I needed to run. I yelled for someone to cover me, moved the rope stands that blocked people from crossing into the building, and ran out into the cold. Luckily the freezing rain had lightened up, but it was still falling.
When I came around the corner of the building, I saw the man who had tripped over himself earlier. He didn’t trip because he was drunk. He tripped because he was about to have a seizure. The woman who asked for the ambulance was on his right and another man was on his left, each using all their strength to keep him from injuring himself on the brick wall or the concrete sidewalk. The operator continued to instruct me on do’s and dont’s while asking a ton of questions.
As we waited for the ambulance, what I saw in front of me was heartbreaking.
The man was seizing, couldn’t speak, drooling on the verge of vomiting, and lacked any ability to control his body. The woman didn’t have a coat. Her hair was frozen, face was three shades too pale, and lips were blue and heavily chapped. I felt like I was being rational and composed, keeping it together as this man in front of me was having intense back to back seizures and I felt unable to help. Then I looked at the woman and saw a single tear roll down her face. That tear broke me.
Before I saw that tear, this was a serious emergency with a life in jeopardy, but I knew we would get through it if we just stayed calm and did what we were told. After that tear dropped to her cheek, I felt her fear and love and compassion and the way she was trying to keep it together to help him in spite of borderline having hypothermia herself. I was pretty sure from the information I had available to me that they were homeless. All the feelings rushed in, and I reached out and held his free hand with my glove covered one. I couldn’t fix the problem, but I could hold his hand and let him know I cared. I was fighting back my own tears as I heard the sirens of the ambulance begin to approach.
Two female EMT’s stepped out of the vehicle, both wearing face masks, and then all the lives impacted by coronavirus washed over me on top of this incident. Pictures float all over social media of our heroic medical professionals dealing with the influx of the ill while wearing their protective gear. Seeing two real people directly in front of me wearing masks with emergency lights flashing in the background triggered my deeper feelings regarding this pandemic. It shattered my bubble and brought things into my reality I didn’t want to face. This wasn’t even a Covid-19 patient. It was a seizure, but they had to approach everyone as though they might have it. Thinking of them working so hard to handle the influx at hospitals due to the virus on top of their normal workload made me appreciate their dedication that much more.
I’ve been seeing videos floating around of nurses praying together before their shifts and hospital parking lots overflowing with people singing worship songs together and reading articles about how atheist doctors are finding God in this crisis. They are like Esther, here for such a time as this, knowing they could perish but doing what is right anyway. They are like Jesus, doing their best to heal the sick who others are afraid to approach and sacrificing much to be there round the clock, leading with servant hearts.
So right now, I see the heart of God in every doctor and nurse and medical professional on the front lines whether they are Christians or not. There may be executive/political decisions I don’t agree with, but these people are stepping in the face of this evil illness and bravely meeting it with love and healing. This minor glimpse into what that must be like for them jolted my heart. Appreciate the individual by putting yourself in their shoes for a brief moment. Then appreciate the whole when you realize how many individuals are all stepping up to the plate in spite of the risk.
As the EMT’s were assisting the man into the back of the ambulance, I walked over to the woman and told her I could care less about coronavirus in that moment – I was giving her a hug. She was so cold, and I wanted to give her some of my warmth, physically and spiritually. There are other things that kill in this world besides this pandemic, like depression or poverty. Suicide rates are surpassing covid-19 deaths in some places, and I refuse to neglect the holistic picture of health. I hugged her and thanked her for coming to get help. We live in a world where some people would pick up their phone to video record his seizure before they would think to call 911 with it. I wanted her to know I appreciated her heart.
When I came back in the building, I went through all the protocol of cleaning myself up and getting new gloves. I trust God, but I’m not looking to test Him either. The first reason I needed to go to the bathroom, though, was to compose myself emotionally.
I knew things weren’t great right now, but I was still on autopilot taking everything one moment at a time and trying to stay rational. After this experience tonight, it struck me on a deeper level that the state of things as they are right now is not pretty, but we are never without hope that the state of things to come will be good. That hope is found in God and made manifest in each other through the Spirit.
“For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.” Romans 8:24-25
Listen – the people in leadership during this time are going to have hard decisions to make. They have every life in their hands. Pray for them. There is no such thing as a decision everyone will agree with, and the modern world is saturated with people quick to yell about their disagreements. The choices being made will ripple out for a long time to come, and I won’t deny that some of the possibilities being discussed are disturbing to me as a Christian and a free human.
That being said, I will share with you what my friend Shelley said in a Zoom call today. Difficult times often bring out the best and worst in people. Be the “best in people”. I pray this experience will bring the light of God to the surface in each of us so we will accept the call to lead with sound minds and servant hearts full of truth and grace.
Stay healthy and safe friends. Allow God to be the power structure in your life, and place your trust in Him to guide and protect your steps through this present darkness, whether that guidance is to stay shut in your home or to serve. Acting on your trust in Him is always brave in this world.
“Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.” Psalm 119:105
Do not let the world harden your heart with fear of the unknown when God has given us the power in the Spirit to overcome all things. Love and take care of your neighbor and yourselves. May everything you do be under the blood of Jesus. Shalom.
