The Fragile Seed: The Perils of Developing Identity

Hello everyone!

I’m back again my friends, and I want to continue our study on identity. First, let’s review. Well, we first introduced/defined identity, and then we took a session on identity in the context of spiritual growth. Well in that last session, we talked about how folks are fixated on the flower, but not giving credence to the journey of the seed.

But why is this important?

Simple. While you have heard the term that bruised flowers still bloom, what do broken seeds do?

We have heard about us being the salt of the earth, but if the salt is no good, it is normally no good for its intended purpose. And what would you do with a trampled seed? More or less the same.

Connecting to Identity

So let’s talk about identity. Because whether we like it or not, before we connect to the identity with being made in God’s image and likeness first, we have to build the other elements of our identity. And this time we are going to talk about heritage.

Most of the Pauline epistles have passages on how to engage the family, and I myself was jarred by 1 Timothy 5. Why? Because it says that it is the job of the family surrounding the widow to take care of the widow. For those of you who have widowed parents, you may understand this struggle. But for the rest of you, let’s take a look.

Remember last week when I said “Our parents are giving us everything (or should be, but that’s a discussion for the next blog)”?  Of course you do. But what does the everything look like? It should look like fathers preparing their offspring for the world, mothers nurturing and laying the foundations on how to love and express.  The problem is, we live in a world where a phenomenon called generational hindsight damage exists.

Identity and Generational Hindsight Damage

We have heard about “generational curses”, correct? Well, you can think of generational hindsight damage as the wounding that passes down generationally from these curses.  Or rather it is the familial and societal input that disrupts families. And many of us have stories on this, some more vitriolic than others. Sadly, abuse comes in many forms, and while an emotional truth is that we all want someone to love us for who we are, what that looks like specifically in each of us is different. Some parents lack the ability to love appropriately, others lack the ability to love specifically, and some still have declined to attempt to love at all. All of these can be damaging in their own way.

Okay parents, I’m sure some of you are like “I’m doing my best!” And if that’s you, great, I believe in you. This “Jack in the Box secret sauce” is for you too. While many scholarly journals talk about your struggle, I’m going to provide a perspective. So, whether you have children or not, think about your experience growing up with your parents. Nobody’s is ideal; still forgive (that’s a future entry). And to some extent, our parents have not only influenced the formation of our identity, but also, via generational hindsight damage, prevented us from fully grasping identity with God first.

The Apple and the Tree (More Seed Metaphors)

We normally consider parents to be hard-working, protective, intuitive, wise, and what not (I’ve seen many hardworking parents even in my adult years, I can tell the job seems thankless at times; I thank you though). But the truth is, parents can and will let us down. And they, more so than most anyone else, have an influence on the formation of our identity, and the wounding that disallows it to reach its full potential. Any parent only knows their upbringing, unless they themselves have broken free of their generational hindsight damage. So, let me reiterate, in most cases, they did their best. It’s a nasty struggle, but we have to overcome our generational hindsight damage but using identity and some other factors to break generational curses. Because I am thankful to God that his love is so powerful, it can bring perspective to and allow us to overcome generational hindsight damage. Because in Christ, even a broken seed can be made whole.

But that’s next month’s entry…how to make a broken seed whole.

Thank you all, and I’ll see you next time!

“Kingdom work is the only thing I want to do”, Meet Author Ann Lenaers!

You’re a Christian author, how important is it that your faith be reflected in the work you produce?

My faith in Christ is my identity, so kingdom work is the only thing I want to do. God put a call on my life to raise up the children of God into maturity by aiding in the development of the communication skills and emotional intelligence necessary for love and peace to be lived in balanced truth and grace. All work I do aims to bring the Word to life through fostering understanding and calling people to action in faith.

Tell us about your book!

Perfect Love: A Hero’s Journey” is a Biblical workbook designed to guide
you through the Christian walk using the 17 step hero’s

journey discovered by Joseph Campbell. It covers the whole spectrum from accepting Jesus in faith through being a leader for him. Each step is yoked alongside my own raw, personal testimony. I believe we can each become better heroes than the ones we idolize on television when we follow the Spirit to model our lives after the greatest hero – Jesus Christ.

Tell us about the process – how long did it take you to write your book from start to finish?

This book poured out of me in approximately six weeks. I was fully confident in the message! However, as I received feedback I took my time making revisions to polish it up. My message has never changed, but I spent a good bit of time refining the delivery to be certain complex concepts are able to be clearly understood by any reader.

Whenever I speak to writers there’s usually a fascinating back story that led to a career in writing, what’s yours?

I’ve always been a creative person who loves to dig deeper. My passion for writing first surfaced when I lost a dear friend to suicide. I wrote a book about a trip we took to California as part of my coping process. Not long after that I cried out to God looking for answers and healing having experienced the loss of 6 other people over the course of that year. I had a supernatural encounter with Jesus and have been passionate about faith ever since. Everything I learned from the Lord, my study, and my struggles in life all needed to come out, and I felt God gave me the words and the drive to use it all to help people. Writing became a natural way for me to tie it all up with a bow.

How has your family supported your desire to write?

My family has been great about allowing me the quiet time to myself so I can get writing done. They encourage me often!

What were some unexpected challenges you encountered on the path toward getting published?

The day I finished the last word of my first draft I was instantly hit with a panic to revise everything, worrying I left things out. I backed up the draft then spent the next month messing it all up. I was almost done and out of nowhere my computer completely corrupted the new file. It’s the only file I lost and has all been fine ever since, but I lost every revision I made and had to go back to the rough draft. I think God was looking out for me so I wouldn’t ruin a good thing! I made minimal changes after that.

As a writer of faith, I view my work as a calling, do you view your work the same way? What moment showed you this was your purpose?

Yes, my writing is definitely a foundational piece to my calling. It is the groundwork of my public speaking and life coaching. There are so very many moments that have shown me this was the right direction for me. God has been very gracious in confirming things. There was one night about a month after my book became available where I was praying asking God to help me pay to travel with the book if that is what He truly wanted me to do. The next day, maybe twelve hours later, I was offered a completely free trip to Florida. That definitely locked it down in my mind!

What’s a bit of advice you would give to new authors?

Make an outline! It doesn’t have to be a formal outline. For me, it helps to just identify how I want to divide and structure my chapters and subsections. Get creative with your layout! I meet so many people who get writer’s block, because they try to get from A to Z without knowing where B, C, D, etc fall. It becomes overwhelming, and they don’t know where to start. Everyone can write a few paragraphs on a simple topic. Break it down, and map it out.

Why do you think it’s important to pursue writing about matters of faith at this point in time?

Faith has become so chaotic with everyone doing what is right in their own eyes. We need to bring the perspective back to doing what is right in God’s eyes and get on the same page about truth so grace can be more fruitful. Plus the gospel is good news, and everyone deserves to hear about it!

What are you working on now?

I’m about to release a new book called “Redeemable” all about calling people to salvation on the basis of the redemption that everyone can have through Christ. After that I have three more books I plan to write. One will be on communication skills, one will be about apologetics, and one will be pulling leadership lessons from the life of Jesus in the gospel. I’m a founding board member for two new non-profits (The Canvus & Strategies For Life) and am currently wrapping up my role in a Christian musical called “Mystery”. My biggest focus currently is pursuing more public speaking opportunities. I want to reach as many people as possible through whatever medium they find accessible, because I feel the messages I’m sharing are vital in these times.

Anything else you want to tell readers?

You are loved.

You are not alone.

There is hope.

Follow Ann on social media! Also, subscribe to Aknowingspirit to read more of her writing as a contributor!

Website: www.peaceistheroad.org

Facebook: www.facebook.com/peaceistheroad

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoolhtj66FX98dArcbSSqUQ

Instagram: annjolina12

Bible Study Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2216692938607835/?ref=share