Candace Paul
I wrote an article titled, Why I Followed My Backup Plan and Not My Dream. The piece focused on being honest about the reasons why we choose to follow a backup plan instead of really going for it, and pursuing our dreams. I acknowledge in the piece, that in some instances, the back up plans we create may perfectly accommodate our changing circumstances. There is nothing wrong with adjusting plans in order to make room for more important things that happen in our lives.
However, the key is honestly asking yourself if you stopped pursuing your dream because other things became more important, or because you were afraid you didn’t have what it takes to make your dream a reality?
For me, I was on the fence. I had always wanted to be a writer. I had actually written a manuscript that challenges us to contemplate the spiritual consequences of our decisions and to take a hard look at what is happening in the world. I was passionate about the book and I hoped that it would help people think about their purpose. But after only few rejections, I tucked it away and shifted my focus to earning a law degree. Nevertheless, as I worked and studied, the hopes that I had for the book never left me. Then events happened that made me re-evaluate everything.
I was watching the news and I heard yet another story of an unarmed black man killed by police. Shortly thereafter, I saw a documentary about the tainted water in Flint, Michigan and how the issue is still unresolved. Then, I read statistics about the crime rate in Chicago and the mass incarceration of African-Americans and Latinos. All of this was followed by learning that collectively humanity has passed the “Carbon Tipping Point” – which basically means we have passed a safe limit for Carbon levels in our atmosphere.
I felt myself getting very upset and frustrated by what was happening in the world while simultaneously having this overwhelming sense that there was nothing I could do about it. To me, becoming apathetic was the worst thing that could happen and I could feel it starting to set in. The sad part was, that apathy made sense.
If I truly felt there was nothing I could do to change anything, why should I still care about anything that’s happening? As if God smacked me on the back of the head to stop me from that negative line of thinking, I suddenly had a renewed desire to read my manuscript. At this point, it had been years since I read it. So, it genuinely felt like I was reading someone else’s words. In many ways…I was.
I was reading the words of my younger self. I was reading the words of a young woman whose only desire was to figure out how she could use her talents to change things. She was optimistic, insightful, and faithful. She was passionate and motivated. Where had she gone? After I read the book, I was convinced it had to be published.
Through fiction, my book discussed everything that upset me about the world and the reasons behind it. What if the goal for those in power is never to solve anything? What if considering the “greater good” was never a real priority? What if the plan is just to keep us distracted and disengaged long enough, so that by the time we finally figure out the only thing that really matters, it’s too late? I discuss all this in the book and I knew that I could no longer let myself get in the way. This was bigger than me. If I wanted to make a difference and if I wanted to get others motivated to do the same, this was how.
I finally put in the work. Instead of settling for rejection, I realized that even if I heard “no” a thousand times my life would remain the same – exactly as it was. But…if I took this chance, pressed on, tried something different…one “yes” could change everything.
If my words could encourage just one person to get uncomfortable about injustice, or become upset about the excessive greed that cultivates inequality, the book would have fulfilled its purpose. The moment I stopped caring about rejection, is the moment several publishers expressed interest.
So, as it turns out, I followed my dream after all and new opportunities have opened the door for even bigger dreams. This is just the beginning and there is so much more work to do.
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